CULTURE,CONSENT & THE TEENAGE BRAIN
Understanding consent and the many pressures that shape how young people interpret it is vital to support their safety, wellbeing and relationships. As parents and educators, it is essential that we recognise the complex factors influencing adolescents today, from brain development to sexualised online environments, peer culture and access to alcohol, all of which play a significant role in how young people learn, understand and practice consent.
From a young age we teach children to ask permission, respect others and play cooperatively. These prosocial behaviours are reinforced by parents, teachers and other adults, and practiced through everyday interactions with siblings, friends and peers. Children begin to understand consent through the context of sharing toys, using learning tools or navigating personal space. With experience and guidance, they learn how to play, cooperate, collaborate and make friends, and consent around person-to-person interaction is at the core of these successful relationships.
Yet in adolescence, the notion of consent can become blurred. Too often, we hear courageous young women speak of experiences where consent was ignored, resulting in assault or rape. This generates strong community outrage but can also unfairly burden many young men with the stigma of being tarred with a universal brush of accusation. As a society, we must address these issues and remedy whatever factors have led us here. As a school community we must play our part.
In Victoria, the Crimes Act 1958 (amended July 2023) defines sexual consent as:
‘…a free and voluntary agreement, requiring an “affirmative” approach where participants take reasonable steps to communicate consent for each specific act. Consent is not assumed, can be withdrawn at any time, and cannot be given if forced, coerced, or incapacitated.’ (1)
While few adolescents rely on legal definitions when making decisions, the more pressing question is, why does moral judgement sometimes fail in the most personal of moments, even after years of education around consent from families, schools and the wider community?
Consent influencers
After 35 years of experience working with young people and watching societal and technological evolution, I believe there are four key elements of critical importance:
- Neuroscience of the teenage brain
- Societal expectations and peer pressures
- Access to online pornography
- Alcohol and unsupervised social gatherings
Peer pressure and the teenage brain
Neuroscience research highlights a developmental gap between the adolescent brain’s socioemotional reward system and its cognitivecontrol system. Between ages 12 and 20, this imbalance heightens risktaking and reduces the ability to selfregulate in emotionally charged situations. (2)
This is also the stage when peer approval becomes more influential than parental guidance. Pressure to “fit in” can manifest as a desire to be in a relationship or to experiment with intimacy, often before teenagers have the emotional maturity or decisionmaking capacity to manage these experiences responsibly. Media and especially social media intensify this pressure by sexualising young people, making it accessible to all and presenting distorted models of adulthood.
In short, there is significant pressure on our teenagers to be adult before they have the neurological or emotional maturity to make the best decisions which may include opposing the peers from whom they crave approval.
The impact of online pornography
Perhaps the most concerning influencer is the widespread availability of online pornography, which often becomes a young person’s first exposure to intimate relationships. Research from entities such as Covenant Eyes (3) finds that:
- 9 out of 10 boys and 6 out of 10 girls are exposed to pornography online before the age of 18.
- On average, the first exposure to pornography among boys is 12 years old.
- 71% of teens have done something to hide their online activity from their parents.
- 28% of 16-17-year-olds have unintentionally been exposed to pornography online.
- 20% of 16-year-olds and 30% of 17-year-olds have received a ‘sext’.
Equally damning, a 2017 article on the ABC cited a study by Dr Megan Lim from the Burnet Institute in Melbourne who found… ‘of more than 940 young people in the study, the typical age for boys to view pornography for the first time was 13 years of age, and 16 for girls.’ (4)
The effect of this on the behaviour of young people is startling, but probably not surprising. Numerous studies, such as that conducted some years ago by Child Family Community Australia (5) and an article in the Journal of Paediatric Health (6) found that the effects on our young people of frequent and routine viewing of pornography and other sexualised images may:
- Lead to high-risk sexual behaviour.
- Reinforce harmful gender stereotypes.
- Contribute to the objectification of women and the forming of unhealthy and sexist views of women.
- Contribute to sexual aggression and the condoning of violence against women.
- Lead to unrealistic expectations of sexual relationships.
Fundamentally, easy access to online pornography sets the scene for young people to form an unhealthy view of what an intimate relationship ‘looks like’ and the role that each person in that relationship plays. (7)
Author Melinda Tankard Reist offers an even more bleak assessment of the porn industry which she says, “takes pre-existing harmful codes of masculinity and entitlement and turbo-charges them. All the best intentions and efforts cannot compete with the world’s biggest department of education: pornography. If we don’t address pornography’s conditioning of boys, which trains them to accept rape myths that ‘no’ in fact means ‘yes’ and which normalises aggression, coercion and domination, these girls and all those that follow don’t stand a chance.”
Alcohol, parties and unsafe situations
Adding alcohol to this developmental landscape magnifies the danger and impact. Apart from the known damage alcohol consumption has on developing brains, alcohol impairs judgement, reduces inhibitions and can leave individuals unable to remove themselves from unwanted situations. In unsupervised environments, even wellintentioned young people may make decisions that conflict with their values or cause harm.
Our shared responsibility
Recognising these factors underscores the vulnerability of adolescents and the need for home and school to work together to create environments that model and reward caring, discipline, integrity and respect. We must actively counter harmful stereotypes, challenge aggressive or submissive gender norms, and promote healthy relationships.
The concept of ‘consent education’ is not new and the School has been working proactively in this area for many years through an educative approach, utilising a range of programs and guest presenters including:
- Boss of my own body in the ELC
- RULER wellbeing framework from Foundation to Year 8
- Mentor-led child safety briefings from Foundation to Year 12
- Values-based Chapel for all year levels
- YSafe cyber safety program from Years 7 – 9
- TalkNOW! respectful relationships and Alcohol Awareness in Years 7 & 8
- The Man Cave and Enlighten Education in Year 9
- Elephant Ed consent workshops in Years 10 – 12
- Drugs & alcohol expert Paul Dillon in Years 10 – 12
These programs address topics such as relationships, identity, cybersafety, sexting, sexualisation, and drug and alcohol awareness. Alongside this, our pastoral care system including our class teachers and Mentors, Year Level and House Coordinators, Heads of Campus, Counsellors, Psychologists and Chaplains, means our students have trusted adults to turn to with any concerns.
Our commitment to developing young people of outstanding character is as strong as it has ever been, but the landscape is becoming increasingly complex. To manage this, we are currently reviewing and strengthening our Schoolwide Personal Development Program to ensure an integrated approach to address these issues and support the social, emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing of our young people.
How families can help
Given the issues we are navigating, it is more important than ever that home and school work together. Here are some suggestions families might consider employing at home:
- Implement online safety measures to guard against inappropriate use.
- Discuss consent and pornography openly at home.
- Supervise social events and don’t provide alcohol to minors.
- Attend Mentone Stories parenting seminars and discuss the parallel programs students have attended at school.
- Explore how unrealistic media portrayals of children, and highly curated representations of ‘influencers’ can distort the role models young people relate to and aspire to emulate.
Ultimately, our goal is to guide our adolescents safely to adulthood and ‘buy time’ for their developing brains to catch up with their values. Few skills are more important in life than the ability to build and sustain caring, respectful relationships. We owe it to our children to begin these challenging conversations early to pave the way for their wellbeing and happiness now and in the years ahead.
Andy Müller
Principal
References:
- Association for Psychological Science: The Teenage Brain: Peer Influences on Adolescent Decision Making: Dustin Albert, Jason Chein, Laurence Steinberg
- Journal of Paediatric Health https://www.jpedhc.org/article/S0891-5245(19)30384-0/fulltext#box2
- Linewize Education Blog 31 March 2021